Come back I am not crazy, I am just Menopausal!!!!!

Lately I feel like I have this strange creature invading my body and mind. I have been trying to ignore it but it creeps up on me and sometimes at the weirdest and unacceptable moments (like during church services). First it messes with my mind; I can’t seem to remember where I am or what I am supposed to be doing. Then it messes with my body. I start to feel like my body was immersed in a pressure cooker. The steam begins to build up and rises and till BAM!!!! I am in a full fledge hot flash, and all I can think of is… how fast can I strip off these clothes. That is really not something you should be thinking in the sanctuary with 1500 people. Trust me if I did that half the congregation would be flocking to the alter and asking God to deliver me of the demon that has taken over my mind,  the other half of the congregation would be in a state of shock running out the doors and grabbing all their children from the horror. (Trust me no one should see me naked… I don’t even look)


Yes, it is true I am going through menopause. What this means to me is I am getting old. I do not grow old gracefully. I believe in all the plastic surgery you can afford to stay young and beautiful. (Obviously if you have seen my picture you realize I am poor because I haven’t had any) Honestly though, I believe in nipping, tucking, liposuctioning and dyeing anything you have too to stay young. It also helps a lot if you date guys 20 years younger than you (baby I am joking you beat any twenty year old)  Ok sorry I am back, I had to save my butt.   Any way where was I? *ponders for a second trying to recall last topic* Oh yes menopause. See I am already losing my mind and they say that’s the first to go.