My heart aches so badly today. It seems family can hurt you more than anyone. Family can be loving and supportive but they can also be judgmental and controlling. You are committed to listen to their opinions but you can’t let them make you feel like less a person. Family situations can be abusive and I guess that’s why I am not close to mine. I guess you have to take the good with the bad in these situations. Family means everything to me. My family is not very close knit. We just do our own thing. I don’t like it that way, and I have tried to change it, but change has to come from both sides. Family is the ones you call in times of trouble, family is there to take you in when you need help. There are no questions asked because they know you would and have done the same for them. It is sad when you can’t count on your family.

I am envious of my friend, we will call him Harvey. Every year at Thanksgiving, Harvey’s whole family; mom, dad, brother, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, even cousins twice removed, meet at one big hall and eat a traditional dinner. Of course, he comes back stuffed full of turkey, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole and pie (I know you don’t stick to all low carbs on this day so don’t try to fool anyone). He doesn’t know how lucky he is to have family that want to be together. When you don’t have family, when you are sitting to Thanksgiving by yourself, you start to realize, hey maybe having to drink a shot or two of tequila before you go over to your crazy aunts house isn’t that bad after all.

I long for a close family. When I get remarried. Yes I will get remarried someday. I hope my future husbands family is like my friends, and I hope they welcome me in with open arms and give me what I feel like I have been missing in my life.


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