God Loves Me!!!

Status Update
By Carolyn Knotts

I came across this during my devotional time today and I just had to share.Sometimes we let ourselves belief that we are not worthy enough for God’s love. I have struggled with this continuously. But nothing can separate us from God’s love for us.
His Love Letter to You

My Beloved Daughter,

My love for you is everlasting! My love for you cannot be hidden. What you’re searching for is found in my heavenly arms. I can promise you this, if you will seek Me first above all others, you will find that I am all you need to feel safe and secure. My love for you is everlasting and effortless because You are My daughter. My deepest desire is to be close to you, but I will not force My way into your heart. I will wait patiently for you to invite Me in and when you’re ready, we will walk together as Father and daughter every day for the rest of your life–until the day I see your precious face in heaven. For now, just breath in My never-ending love for you and smile just knowing you are My treasure.

Love,
Your Loving Father

“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” — Jeremiah 31:3Image

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Put me in Coach!!!!

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I remember when I was a teenager watching the movie Major League. There is a scene in the movie where one of the players is in the dugout and all he wants to do is play but the coach just leaves him there. Then at the very last inning of the game he brings him out and he wins the game for the team.

How often do we feel like God has just left us in the dugout? We ask Him “Lord when is it my time to shine for You”?  We have taken all the classes, learned all the verses and yet God just leaves us on the sidelines.. So we think?

Because He Loved Us

The other day sitting with my girlfriends drinking coffee, I expressed to them how I knew that the sin that I was holding, was keeping me from God’s plan for my life. I also expressed how afraid I was that God wanted me to stay single for the rest of my life.  “Yes, I know God gives us the desires of our hearts according to His perfect will, but what if his perfect will for me to remain single?” I want to be married and I am scared that I may never be married again. But my deepest fear is rooted deep in past hurts that I thought I had broken free from. The hurt of not being loved by someone. I crave love because I never really felt loved. So I remain making bad choices because I crave that love.

So last night while working a overnight, I was doing my bible study. It brought me to Psalm 139.

 

 

Who Am I?

So it has been a while since I blogged, matter of fact it has been many years,; but so many things has been going on in my life lately.

Recently I found out I was adopted. Here I am at 51 years old, just learning that I wasn’t who I thought I was my whole life. By the way, if you don’t want to know the truth about your ancestry, don’t do a DNA test.

How this all started was a fluke. For years my Mom has told me how her family was Native American. For years I knew I looked like no one in my family either paternal or maternal side. So I wanted to do an Ancestry DNA kit to find out just how much Native American I am. My daughter Kim bought me one for mothers day and I immediately spit  in my tube and sent it off. I received my results back in approximately two weeks. When I looked at my DNA matches, all these strange names popped up. I had no idea what that meant until a woman contacted me the next day.

My emotions are so mixed. I feel lucky to have been taken by parents that wanted me, even though they went about it illegally. ( That is a whole other blog post). I feel lied to by those who I trusted the most.  I feel rejected by the one who was suppose to love me unconditionally. I grieve over not being able to grow up with my siblings, have a relationship with my bio Dad (he died in 2005), or my sister (she died in 2001), know my grandparents and aunts and uncles.Image result for dna

I know God loves me more than any other being on this planet, and I know that He has a plan in all this and to trust Him. I will get there fully someday, but for now I will just try to get through the feelings I have today and take it one day at a time.

 

Where are you God?-Hope

doveWhere are you God?- Hope when you feel hopeless

Sitting there in my friend Amy’s office crying. “I just don’t know what I will do” I said. You just have to trust and believe in God. He is working it out, Carolyn” Amy said. This has been one of many discussions of this type that Amy and I have had over the years. Believe God. Yeah, that’s been pretty hard for me to do.  I resort back to the times in my life I did just that only not to have things work out. I wanted my marriage to be healed. Didn’t happen. I wanted my Mom to live, didn’t happen. I wanted my love life to work the way I wanted it to. Didn’t happen. Sometimes believing in God is hard. We get an idea of how things should go. Then when they do not go that way, we feel like God failed us.

I always wonder if the saints in the old testament felt that way. I think of Abraham. I wonder if he thought God was failing him as he was walking up that hill with Isaiah. He knew that God wanted him to sacrifice one of his most prized possessions. I wonder if Joseph thought he was ever going to get out of that hole his brothers put him in. Did either of them felt a twinge of despair? We know that David felt despair when he was in hiding.

He says in Psalms 42:5 “Why am I discouraged, why is my heart so sad.”

In 42:9,10 he continues “Oh God my rock, I cry. Why have you forgotten me? Why must I wonder around in grief, oppressed by my enemies?” Their taunts break my bones; they scoff “Where is this God of yours?”

When we are in the deepest battle of our life, sometimes we wonder if God even hears us cry out. True, God didn’t save my marriage but I now realize He was saving me. Because of that battle, I came through victorious and more aware of God’s presence and glory in my life.

If you are going through something and you are wondering where God is, if you wonder is He hearing your cry, trust me He is. He loves you. He knows how you are suffering. Know that God’s ways are not our ways. He is perfect in every way. He is molding you into something great. Put your hope in Him.

Romans 5:2-7   

through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.  You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.  Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.”

 

Rejection

“But he said to me. “My grace is sufficient for you; my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

Let me tell you something, I am scared of rejection. The thought of someone, not liking my ideas, suggestions or even worse not liking me, puts me into panic mode. It gets so bad sometimes that I have failed to go to a job interview, or witness to a person that needs to hear about God or step out of disobedience to God’s voice. Am I the only one in this boat?

Rejection is just plain nasty. It is an ugly monster that rears its ugly head up to intimidate us. It makes us bring things to the surface that was hidden deep in our soul that traumatized us years and years ago.

I remember when I was a child I was always rejected to be on picked for a team at recess. I was an overweight child and not very athletic so no one wanted me on their team. I remember crying on the playground because all I ever wanted was to be wanted. I still struggle with this today. Every time I don’t get the invite, every time I get told my idea won’t work, every time someone corrects me about my attitudes (believe me I have plenty that God is still working on) it takes me back to that little girl on the playground.

Don’t we all desire acceptance? We all crave the affirmation of others. Satan knows this and uses that against us to make us think we are not worth anything. He is after all here to kill, steal and destroy.  He knows if he can steal our self-worth then he can use our past hurts and fears against us. He can make us weak!!

Jesus tells us differently. He tells us “His grace is sufficient. In the amplified bible it adds: My loving-kindness’, My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation.” He is more than enough. He also tells us that “His power is made perfect in weakness.” It is in our weakest time, that God’s power is revealed.

Rejection isn’t fun but we know that our Creator will never abandon us. We will always be His top pick. It is through Him that we can remain strong in our weakest points of life. Our past rejections can give way to the power and strength shown through us by Jesus if we just give it all to Him.

 

 

 

Caught with Salt in Our Mouths

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Caught with Salt in Our Mouths

 “ With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.” James 3:9-12

 

I remember when I was little my Mom would say something nice about me then turn around and in the same breath criticize me. I didn’t understand how I could be a good girl but have all these bad traits. For me it was either black or white there was no gray area. Either I was a good person or a bad person. I still think that I am like that to this day, and thus, have a hard time when people try to give me positive criticism. I must admit though there has been times that I was caught with salt in my mouth. I am guilty!!

God is like that in the same way. He is black and white God. Either what comes from us is positivity or it is negativity. We can spring forth fresh water living water that encourages our brothers and sisters in Christ or nasty sea water that’s bitter and leaves a bad taste in their mouths. What about those that don’t know Christ? Does what we say (especially statements on social media) bring forth that fresh water that reflects the living water of Jesus Christ? Do we claim to have fresh living water in us, but spit out nasty salt water as many times as we do the other? We must always remember that our words are weapons, they can hurt, they can encourage, and they are the very essence of what we are thinking.

Lord I want my words to be fresh; I want them to reflect you, the God who has the endless stream of fresh
living water.